The Homestuck Tango
by Blindseerchina
Summary: Songfic based off of the cellblock tango from the musical chicago!


Hey guys, im back! This was coauthored, like a lot of my best works, with my friend kolko braginski! I dont own the cellblock tango or homestuck, all rights to the original owners! Enjoy :)

Homestuck tango

Vriska: walk.  
Feferi: Gay.  
Aradia: h0ney  
Kanaya: uh uh.  
Nepeta: highblood.  
Terezi: V4NT4S

Dave: and now the 6 merry murderesses of the Alternia jail. In their rendition of the of the Homestuck tango.

Vriska: walk.  
Feferi: gaaay.  
Aradia: h0ney  
Kanaya: uh uh.  
Nepeta: highblood.  
Terezi: V4NT4S

Vriska: Walk!  
Feferi: Gay!  
Aradia: H0ney  
Kanaya: uh uh!  
Nepeta: Highblood!  
Terezi: V4NT4S

Vriska: Walk!  
Feferi: Gaaay!  
Aradia: H0ney!  
Kanaya: uh uh!  
Nepeta: Highblood!  
Terezi: V4NT4S!

Vriska: Walk!  
Feferi: Gaaay!  
Aradia: H0ney  
Kanaya: uh uh!  
Nepeta: Highblood!  
Terezi: V4NT4S!

All: He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you had been there. If youd have seen it.

Nepeta"i betcha mew wouldve done the same"

Vriska: Walk!  
Feferi: Gay!  
Aradia: Honey!  
Kanaya: uh uh!  
Nepeta: Highblood!  
Terezi: Vantas!

Vriska: Walk!  
Feferi: Gay!  
Aradia: Honey!  
Kanaya: uh uh!  
Nepeta: Highblood!  
Terezi: Vantas!

Vriska: You know how sometimes people have little hobbies that get you down? Like, Tavros. Tavros he liked to wear costumes. No, not costumes. /Cosplay/.  
So one day i come back to our hive and im really irritated and im looking for a little bit of sympathy. And theres Tavros, sittin in his wheelchair. Playing with tinkerbull in a costume. No. Not a costume. Cosplay! So i said "you walk up those stairs right now and change!" And he looks at me and he says "i cant walk". So i take a shotgun off the wall and i fire two warning shots. Into his head.

All: He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you had been there. If you had seen it. I betcha you would've done the same.

Feferi: i met eridan ampora about two years ago, and he told me he was straight. Well we hit it off right away, and we started living together. Hed exterminate landdwellers, hed come home. Id fix him a drink, wed have dinner. And then i found out. Straight he told me. Straight my ASS! Not only was he gay, oh no. he was hitting on six guys. All of them were landdwellers, you know. So that night when he came to out hive, i fixed him his drink, as usual. You know some guys just cant hold their arsenic.

All: He had it coming. He had it coming. He Took a flower in his prime. And then he used it. Then he abused it. It was a murder but not a crime.

Aradia: Now Im standing in the kitchen, making food for dinner. Minding my own business. In storms my matesprit Sollux with yellow stuff on his face. "Youve been eating the mind honey?!" he said. He was crazy. And his eyes were smoldering as he screamed, "Youve been eating the mind honey!" And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.

All: If youd have been there. If youd have seen it. I bet ya you would have done the same!

Kanaya: I don't even know why I'm here. They say that Jack Noir held my wife, Rose, down...while i sawed her in half with a chainsaw. But it is not true. I loved her. It wasnt me. I am innocent. I dont know why Gamzee says i did it. I tried explaining it to him, but he wouldnt believe me.

Aradia: Yeah, but did you do it?

Kanaya: No. Not guilty!

Nepeta: my friend AA and i had this double act. And my matesprit Equius helped build her body when she needed surgery. She gave her blue blood as well as a strong body so we could do our final act. We did so many flips and tricks and tumbles and moves right after the other. It was perfect. So this one night before our next show we're just chilling in a hotel. The three of us, drinking, shipping, having a few laughs. And we run out of catnip so i go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Aradia and Equius. Cold blue lips against one anothers.  
Well i was in such a state of shock i completely blacked out. I cant remember a thing. It wasnt until later when i was washing the blue off my paws i even knew they were dead!

Nepeta: They had it coming. They had it coming. They had it coming all along. I didnt do it. But if id done it, how could you tell me that i was wrong?

Nepeta: they had it coming. They had it coming. They had it coming all along. I didnt do it. But if id done it, how could you tell me that i was wrong?

Terezi: i loved karkat vantas more than i could possibly say. He was a real asshole, but really he was sensitive, sweet even. But he sucked at coding viruses. Hed go out every night to sollux hive for help and on the way to his hive, he found dave, john, kanaya. And gamzee. I guess you could say we broke up because of our differences. He saw himself as alive. But i could only smell him DEAD!

All: The dirty bum!  
Bum  
Bum  
Bum  
Bum  
The dirty bum!  
Bum  
Bum  
Bum  
Bum  
They had it coming. They had it coming. They Had it coming all along! Cuz if they used us, And they abused us! How could you tell us that we were wrong!

He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you had been there. If you had seen it. I bet ya you would have done the same.

Vriska: you walk up those stairs right now!  
Feferi: Straight my ass!  
Aradia: ten times  
Kanaya: i dont know why Gamzee says i did it.  
Nepeta: Cold blue lips against one anothers.  
Terezi: our differences

Vriska: walk.  
Feferi: gay.  
Aradia: honey.  
Kanaya: uh uh.  
Nepeta: highblood.  
Terezi: Vantas.


End file.
